The Testimony of Connie Ashlock
Spivey
Going back over my
childhood isn’t easy to do and I find it hard to write about; but I believe
that God wants me to do this and if that is what he wants me to do; I am more
than glad to do it. Growing up in the country is so different than in a large
city, not so crowded with families living many miles apart. So brothers and
sisters usually just played together, my sister who was two years younger, and
I were pretty close.
There was an elderly
couple holding Sunday school classes at the country school where I attended. My
mother allowed my sister who was ten, and I was twelve to go the first Sunday.
I was so surprise to hear what they were saying as they told us that God loved
us so much that He gave His only Son to die on a cross and paid for all our
sins and all we had to do, is just believe on Him, and accept Him into our
lives and, we never had to worry about not going to Heaven when we died, that
God gave us eternal life and it was a free gift! I had never felt loved as a
child and I couldn’t imagine anyone loving me that much so it was easy for me
to just accept Him into my life and believe in the One who had did that for me!
I wanted that Person more than anything I could think of. I don’t think I
understood all that was being said but, I remember when they were asking us if
we wanted to accept Him as our Savior, I know I was saved in my seat but, when
they ask us to come down to the front I was more than glad to go. Will when I
got down to the front as I looked back I notice that all the children were gone
and we were the only ones left. They had all gone home and my sister had gone
also, there were thirteen of us left.
So I had to go home alone,
and I couldn’t understand why my mother was anger with me. I learned my sister
had told her what had happened and she was waiting with a belt for me. I was
afraid of her because she had used it on me many times, but couldn’t see what
made her get that anger at me since, I didn’t feel like I had did anything
wrong. I was so happy before I got home and it was hard to imagine this was
happening, all my joy I had felt was turning into sadness. But she said there
was no such thing as “Once Saved always Saved” and I was too young to be saved
in the first place.
She just told me to go
to the table and eat lunch but I wasn’t hungry at all, I was wishing I could go
back to school and talk some more to the nice couple who; had made me so happy
with what they told me. I was devastated as I heard her telling me I could not
go back to the classes anymore, since they were going to continue them through
the summer. I was wondering if the other children would get to go. Will anyway
I was afraid to ask her if I could go back, after that! I know that was the
worst thing I felt could happen to me. I don’t believe my family understood how
hurtful that was to me, my sisters that were older, made ugly remarks that hurt
me. I didn’t know why they were doing this to me and why did they not
understand about God; and all the things He had did for them, I was afraid to
tell them, so I just kept it to myself. It wasn’t easy growing up in a
non-Christian family, but time went quickly and I wanted to go to High School,
we lived quite a distant from a small town where the high school was and I
could walk to the bus that carried the country children to the high school in
town. But after my first year my parents let me live with my Grandmother who
lived close to the school.
I found that Children
weren’t much different than the little country school where I had gone. The
children seemed more mature than I was, and I found myself spending all my time
in my books.
It seemed like everyone
just lived as if there was no God! At least that was the way it looked to me; I
guess they just wanted to have fun anyway they could. I knew I couldn’t forget
my experience I had, and although I was confused and I had no one to talk to,
and I was very lonely. I couldn’t talk to my family or my Grandmother and so
that left me just talking to the “One who had made me so happy on that summer
day.” I did not know He lived inside me at the time. But I did know I could
trust Him with everything and I just talked to Him, I knew He was the only real
friend I had. I had tried reading my bible but found I couldn’t understand it.
I knew I needed someone to help me understand the Scriptures, but I was afraid
to even mention it, since my mother had acted like I did something wrong when I
came home from Sunday school that day. I can’t explain why I felt the way I
did, but I guess it was because of the fear, that my mother had put into me as
I was growing up. I know that she made a difference between me and my other
sisters.
I became confused not
knowing just what to do, not having any Christian friends, and not knowing how
to meet them. I know there are those who might wonder why didn’t I just go to a
Church and ask the people to give me all the answers I wanted to know? But I
remembered what had happened when my mother told me there was no such thing as
“Once saved always saved” I was afraid they would tell me the same thing.
I believe God watches
over His children and I believe He was watching over me all that time. I later
moved to a large city and that is where I met my husband; I found He couldn’t
help me with my questions either, but he understood more than I did. He was a
Christian also but, his mother had brought him up in a Pentecostal Church. So
he didn’t know that he had eternal life at the present time either. He was
dissatisfied with the way the Church where he went believed on the subject of
our Security in Christ. Now I believe that was the reason maybe we met since we
both had some of the same problems. Maybe we would be able with God’s help to
find the answers we needed.
But I didn’t know it
would take so long, and God wants us to know the truth and to hide it in our
hearts so we can live for Him the way He desires us to. I now know that it is
so much easier to live for the Lord, when you know you have eternal life and He
will never take it from you. Because eternal life is eternal or it isn’t
eternal life at all. So that was why I was having so much trouble and so
confused, there is nothing to rejoice about if you can lose your salvation. How
could you trust God and be worrying about loosing your Salvation at the same
time.
But I still had a lot to
learn and it took me many years to forget about those bad things that had so
confused me when I was young. I would read the New Testament over and over,
since that was where my husband told me to read. He knew that I certainly
couldn’t understand the OT so I read the new Testament through over 15 times in
about 6 months. But it was not until after my second child was born and in
school. One day I was reading my bible and praying for the Lord to help me, see
the Security of the believer just like I did as a child of 12. While I was
reading the book of John it seemed like John 3:16 stood out to me as if it were
the first time I had read it, although, I had memorized it. I was taken back in
my mind to the time when I was in the little country school and I could see the
same thing again. I realized I had everlasting life all that time. You can’t
imagine how I felt, all my joy returned to me and I was just as happy as I was
years before. I couldn’t thank God enough for what He had done for me and for
allowing me to once again to see that I could not lose my salvation.
I am hopeful that my
Testimony will be a help to those who may have problems about the fear of loosing
their Salvation after they are saved. I know that God will keep us in Christ
and I can just trust Him for everything. I can certainly trust Him after all
the Scriptures say so much about our security in Christ in His Word. Here are
some of them that I have made a part of my life. John 3:16, For God so loved
the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him
should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 5:24, “He that hearth my
word and believeth on Him that sent me hath everlasting life, and shall not
come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life. Colossians 2:2,
Buried with Him in Baptism wherein also ye are raised with Him through the
faith of the operation of God, Who hath raised Him from the dead.” (Corinthians
12:13) “For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one Body, whether we be Jews
or Gentiles whether we be bond or free and have been all made to drink into one
Spirit.” (Ephesians 2:5-6) “Even when we were dead in sins, have quickened us
together with Christ (by Grace ye are saved) and raised us up together, and
made us set together in Heavenly places in Christ Jesus.” I realize as far as
God is concerned we are already seated in Heaven since, we are put into His
Body, by the Spirit of God. We just have to wait for our Heavenly Bodies. (1
Thessalonians 4:16) “For the Lord Himself shall descend from Heaven with a
shout, with the voice of the Arch Angel, and with the trump of God, and the
dead in Christ shall rise first.”(Verse 17) “Then we which are alive and remain
shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the
air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.”
I believe with the help
of the Lord, my husband Cecil, and I was used in my mother’s life, and she was
saved before going to be with the Lord. Trying to live up to certain standards
to get to Heaven is one of Satan’s lies. I know I have eternal life and the
devil cannot take it away from me. Romans 8:38-39, “For I am persuaded, that
neither death, not life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things
present nor things to come, nor heights, nor dephs, nor any other Creature,
shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our
Lord.”
We are now attending a
Grace Bible Church about thirteen miles from us, and I know that the Lord has
helped us come to the knowledge in His Word and to find the fellowship we have
found in where we are right now.
There
is only way to be SAVED 1. Corinthian 15;1 - 4 Christ died for our
sins was buried and rose again the third day. Believe this from you
heart and you will have eternal life.
i Kow Whom I Have Believed
Connie (Ashlock) Spivey, 79, went home to be with the Lord on Sunday, July 11, 2010.
The Preserved and Living Word of God
Posted By Cecil and Connie Spivey
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