Testimony of Connie Spivey
Going back over my childhood isn’t easy to do and I find it hard to write about; but I believe that God wants me to do this and if that is what he wants me to do; I am more than glad to do it. Growing up in the country is so different than in a large city, not so crowded with families living many miles apart. So brothers and sisters usually just played together, my sister who was two years younger, and I were pretty close.
There was an elderly couple holding Sunday school classes at the country school where I attended. My mother allowed my sister who was ten, and I was twelve to go the first Sunday. I was so surprise to hear what they were saying as they told us that God loved us so much that He gave His only Son to die on a cross and paid for all our sins and all we had to do, is just believe on Him, and accept Him into our lives and, we never had to worry about not going to Heaven when we died, that God gave us eternal life and it was a free gift! I had never felt loved as a child and I couldn’t imagine anyone loving me that much so it was easy for me to just accept Him into my life and believe in the One who had did that for me! I wanted that Person more than anything I could think of. I don’t think I understood all that was being said but, I remember when they were asking us if we wanted to accept Him as our Savior, I know I was saved in my seat but, when they ask us to come down to the front I was more than glad to go. Will when I got down to the front as I looked back I notice that all the children were gone and we were the only ones left. They had all gone home and my sister had gone also, there were thirteen of us left.
So I had to go home alone, and I couldn’t understand why my mother was anger with me. I learned my sister had told her what had happened and she was waiting with a belt for me. I was afraid of her because she had used it on me many times, but couldn’t see what made her get that anger at me since, I didn’t feel like I had did anything wrong. I was so happy before I got home and it was hard to imagine this was happening, all my joy I had felt was turning into sadness. But she said there was no such thing as “Once Saved always Saved” and I was too young to be saved in the first place.
She just told me to go to the table and eat lunch but I wasn’t hungry at all, I was wishing I could go back to school and talk some more to the nice couple who; had made me so happy with what they told me. I was devastated as I heard her telling me I could not go back to the classes anymore, since they were going to continue them through the summer. I was wondering if the other children would get to go. Will anyway I was afraid to ask her if I could go back, after that! I know that was the worst thing I felt could happen to me. I don’t believe my family understood how hurtful that was to me, my sisters that were older, made ugly remarks that hurt me. I didn’t know why they were doing this to me and why did they not understand about God; and all the things He had did for them, I was afraid to tell them, so I just kept it to myself. It wasn’t easy growing up in a non-Christian family, but time went quickly and I wanted to go to High School, we lived quite a distant from a small town where the high school was and I could walk to the bus that carried the country children to the high school in town. But after my first year my parents let me live with my Grandmother who lived close to the school.
I found that Children weren’t much different than the little country school where I had gone. The children seemed more mature than I was, and I found myself spending all my time in my books.
It seemed like everyone just lived as if there was no God! At least that was the way it looked to me; I guess they just wanted to have fun anyway they could. I knew I couldn’t forget my experience I had, and although I was confused and I had no one to talk to, and I was very lonely. I couldn’t talk to my family or my Grandmother and so that left me just talking to the “One who had made me so happy on that summer day.” I did not know He lived inside me at the time. But I did know I could trust Him with everything and I just talked to Him, I knew He was the only real friend I had. I had tried reading my bible but found I couldn’t understand it. I knew I needed someone to help me understand the Scriptures, but I was afraid to even mention it, since my mother had acted like I did something wrong when I came home from Sunday school that day. I can’t explain why I felt the way I did, but I guess it was because of the fear, that my mother had put into me as I was growing up. I know that she made a difference between me and my other sisters.
I became confused not knowing just what to do, not having any Christian friends, and not knowing how to meet them. I know there are those who might wonder why didn’t I just go to a Church and ask the people to give me all the answers I wanted to know? But I remembered what had happened when my mother told me there was no such thing as “Once saved always saved” I was afraid they would tell me the same thing.
I believe God watches over His children and I believe He was watching over me all that time. I later moved to a large city and that is where I met my husband; I found He couldn’t help me with my questions either, but he understood more than I did. He was a Christian also but, his mother had brought him up in a Pentecostal Church. So he didn’t know that he had eternal life at the present time either. He was dissatisfied with the way the Church where he went believed on the subject of our Security in Christ. Now I believe that was the reason maybe we met since we both had some of the same problems. Maybe we would be able with God’s help to find the answers we needed.
But I didn’t know it would take so long, and God wants us to know the truth and to hide it in our hearts so we can live for Him the way He desires us to. I now know that it is so much easier to live for the Lord, when you know you have eternal life and He will never take it from you. Because eternal life is eternal or it isn’t eternal life at all. So that was why I was having so much trouble and so confused, there is nothing to rejoice about if you can lose your salvation. How could you trust God and be worrying about loosing your Salvation at the same time.
But I still had a lot to learn and it took me many years to forget about those bad things that had so confused me when I was young. I would read the New Testament over and over, since that was where my husband told me to read. He knew that I certainly couldn’t understand the OT so I read the new Testament through over 15 times in about 6 months. But it was not until after my second child was born and in school. One day I was reading my bible and praying for the Lord to help me, see the Security of the believer just like I did as a child of 12. While I was reading the book of John it seemed like John 3:16 stood out to me as if it were the first time I had read it, although, I had memorized it. I was taken back in my mind to the time when I was in the little country school and I could see the same thing again. I realized I had everlasting life all that time. You can’t imagine how I felt, all my joy returned to me and I was just as happy as I was years before. I couldn’t thank God enough for what He had done for me and for allowing me to once again to see that I could not lose my salvation.
I am hopeful that my Testimony will be a help to those who may have problems about the fear of loosing their Salvation after they are saved. I know that God will keep us in Christ and I can just trust Him for everything. I can certainly trust Him after all the Scriptures say so much about our security in Christ in His Word. Here are some of them that I have made a part of my life. John 3:16, For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 5:24, “He that hearth my word and believeth on Him that sent me hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life. Colossians 2:2, Buried with Him in Baptism wherein also ye are raised with Him through the faith of the operation of God, Who hath raised Him from the dead.” (Corinthians 12:13) “For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one Body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles whether we be bond or free and have been all made to drink into one Spirit.” (Ephesians 2:5-6) “Even when we were dead in sins, have quickened us together with Christ (by Grace ye are saved) and raised us up together, and made us set together in Heavenly places in Christ Jesus.” I realize as far as God is concerned we are already seated in Heaven since, we are put into His Body, by the Spirit of God. We just have to wait for our Heavenly Bodies. (1 Thessalonians 4:16) “For the Lord Himself shall descend from Heaven with a shout, with the voice of the Arch Angel, and with the trump of God, and the dead in Christ shall rise first.”(Verse 17) “Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.”
I believe with the help of the Lord, my husband Cecil, and I was used in my mother’s life, and she was saved before going to be with the Lord. Trying to live up to certain standards to get to Heaven is one of Satan’s lies. I know I have eternal life and the devil cannot take it away from me. Romans 8:38-39, “For I am persuaded, that neither death, not life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor heights, nor dephs, nor any other Creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
We are now attending a Grace Bible Church about thirteen miles from us, and I know that the Lord has helped us come to the knowledge in His Word and to find the fellowship we have found in where we are right now.
HE PROVE HE WAS GOD
Connie (Ashlock) Spivey 1997
HE PROVED HE WAS GOD - Connie (Ashlock) Spivey 1997
Posted By Cecil and Connie Spivey
Posted By Cecil and Connie Spivey
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